Starting to give up, really need help. Warning long rant.

I found out I was pregnant with my daughter in Oct 2012, we dealt with her being a "threatened miscarriage" pretty well. I started to take it easy at work and then I made it through the pregnancy just fine. During the pregnancy I found out that I had an abnormal pap for the 3rd year in a row. She was born healthy on July 4th 2013 & 6 weeks after I had a biopsy done on my cervix. Not quite precancerous cells & because of my age my doctor decided to wait and see if it would clear up on its own. I also severely suffered from post partum depression and didn't bond with her until she was almost 3 months old.

We then found out I was pregnant again (unplanned) April 2014. We were freaking out cuz our daughter was only 9 months old and we were just getting the hang of being new parents. 2 weeks later at my first pre-natal I started to miscarry. I pretty much had a total break down, to the point where I wouldn't leave the house. I was so freaked out I got an IUD to ensure I didn't get pregnant till I was ready. Bad idea, they should never let a woman get an IUD in the same appointment where they confirm a miscarriage.

We started ttc again in Oct 2014 when I decided to remove the IUD at home on my own. ( I know very bad idea, but I had completely fallen off my rocker & felt the need to fill the whole in my heart with another baby).

Now 6 cycles later and nothing getting better or worse with cervix & all bfns. I'm starting to accept the fact that I may never carry another pregnancy to term. It kinda feels like giving up but I can't keep getting my hopes up and then cry when AF rears her ugly head. I have one beautiful daughter that I am great full for but we've always wanted a big family.

I've gotten to the point where I don't know where to go from here. With my sorted gynecological history and want for so many more kids I feel like I'm setting myself up for more disappointment and heart ache.

Any and all advice, encouragment, realistic views are welcome. Really needing some help through this strange and awkward point in my life. Thanks for reading my story!