I still love my teacher

I was 14 at the time when I started having sex /a relationship with my teacher she was in her early 40s I'm female she's female. My dad died that year and I wasn't getting along with my mom. At the time she was a married english at my school we ended on bad terms because of her promotion to deputy head and she kept her distance we linked up a few times when I moved from lower school to upper school...I took the break up really bad but said nothing because I didn't want to lose her or for her to lose her job. 

 Recently shes moved to another school where she's been promoted to head teacher I'm living in America now and she's in London I'm 24 she's the only one I've ever loved....which drives me crazy what should I do reconnect by email or go and see her??