Its my heart taking over my mind. . or not.

Lately, my guy has been irritating the hell out of me/disgusting me. Doesn't do anything around the house but gets up and straight to the computer. We haven't had sex at all for almost a month now, this barely started happenin a few months back. It just gets less and less. Then I would initiate it and he'll be ready to go. Now I don't even initiate it cos now he acts like he doesn't hear me/his stomach hurts so I don't even bother. But he'll randomly come up from behind me and rub against me or testing me. When it comes down to it/when I touch him: He'll tell me to stop, or push my hands away. We sleep at separate times now and ever since we started having less sex he's just been going to the bathroom to jack off. But when we do have sex, it's the best sex ever, even though he doesn't last more then 20 mins. And then the no sex cycle will repeat. He tells me he doesn't want to have sex cos he doesn't want to base our relationship off sex. Bullshit, I say.

I feel as if I shouldn't have to beg or ask for it at all. I feel bad for myself even have to mention about it to him! Overall, I'm just getting tired of it, I just wish we had more intimacy, not just sex but a deeper level of connection. He makes me feel unattractive, and unappreciated. Crazy thing is, he doesn't know me at all. He thinks he do but no. Idknow where I'm going with this, just needed to vent lol.

But I'm seriously tired of it. So the past couple of days, I've just been treating him how he treats me and he hates it. I can't even tell him I love him back. This goes so much deeper and beyond sex. So don't think its because of my sexless boring life.