I need to explain.I think I have a specific fetish.Me and my boyfriend have been dating a couple months and I'm not sure what my fetish exactly is or how to tell him.I want to be taken care of.its hard to explain but I'll try my best.I dont mean like a gold digger but it has elements of financial stability. I'll explain the details.

I like the thought of him doing things for me,being at my beck and call while also being in charge,gently.I want him to bring me food he cooked or buy me food from the store(he does).I like it when he helps me get dressed after the "deed".Tmi moment but he shaved me one time before and it was just nice to have him work on me.

A bit of embarrassment for me is my weight(I am very overweight)But he enjoys my body which I love(he has a bit of a belly but the rest of his body is muscular).He is keen to touching it even when I'm not sure he should.I like how he takes control most of the time when we have sex.(Tmi,I apologize)

We aren't that different in age,he is only three years older than me and I am legal,But I just like the thought of him being in charge. He is studying in college but I am trying to help him get a job,And while it is mostly so he can be stable,it is also so I can feel like he can take care of me.

A strange thing I seem to like is the thought Of being forced.He as well seems to have a thing for being on me even when I'm resisting.Funny fact but we are both African Americans in an urban area, and although I am keen to listening to whatever genre I want,he mostly listens to rap(Because unless its on a video game soundtrack,anything else is "lame")But one of his favorite songs is by nirvana. The song deals with rape.I know for a fact he dislikes the thought of someone REALLY rapping someone,but when we are together,he likes to pretend he is making me have sex with him.He doesn't know that I kind of like it.To me its like symbolic in that he can't handle himself.

Now understand I am a feminist to the highest degree,But I am also a sex positive one.Yet still I feel so wrong for taking joy in the thought of him wanting me so deeply. Am I weird?