Do I masturbate like a freak?

So as long as I can remember, the only way I've been able to orgasm is by humping something. Somehow as a very young kid, I discovered crossing my right leg under my pelvis and humping my heel. I've done this since I was very young and still do it. I  can remember doing it during school before I knew anything about sex. My mom used to tell me that it meant I needed to go to the bathroom or that I should make sure I'm alone when I did it, and now that I'm an adult, I am mortified of how I behaved. It wasn't until I learned what masturbation was that I realized I had been self-pleasuring myself my whole life. I am now almost 21 and have only been able to orgasm by humping, never through penetration. I'm so scared that I will never be able to have an orgasm through penetration (I'm still a virgin), and that any guys I have sex with will think I'm a freak.