Wall.........

I have spent years a decade even building up my wall .. I just recently started tearing it down and honestly after today I want to build it back up .. And quit trying .. I feel like it's already growing again and I don't want to stop but I will have to fake it once he gets home .. I'm tired of trying I'm tired of the anxiety and depression I just want to be normal! This doesn't require a response I just for once wanted to pretend someone would listen .