Unsure

My boyfriend and I have been TTC for 5 months and this is the first month where I've experienced anything abnormal. I haven't tested yet because I'm nervous and still have 3 days until AF. This is also the first month where I've started freaking out and I'm really unsure if I want a baby. I know I want one, but thinking about testing is making me extremely nervous. I want a baby but thinking about a BFP has got me going crazy and thinking I'm not ready. But is anybody really ready for a baby? I guess it's just the thought of actually being pregnant that is making me anxious and worried. Anybody else feel like they want a baby but at the same time is scared for when they get their BFP?