8.5 years & he changed his mind...

I'm so depressed. I met my husband 9 years ago. We have been together 8.5 years & married for 4.5 years. We talked about kids from the start & both wanted kids someday, but I was 16 & it would be way down the road.. I wanted to finish school 1st. Now I'm almost done with school & I decided I'm ready. We are financially stable, have a great marriage, & I know I will be a great mommy. I talked to my husband & we agreed I would get off BC in January. We have been TTC since then. Well, long story short he all of a sudden doesn't think he wants kids anymore. He said he would do that to make me happy, but somewhere like 7 months ago he started feeling different about it. I feel so heart broken over this. I don't want my childrens's father to not want them, but the idea of never having kids crushes me & the idea of having them with another man... just literally sends me into panic. ='( Hubby is bi-polar & he may decide differently, but right now I just feel lost & confused.