Step mothers/ soon to be?

Question

Hey ladies! How many of us are step mom's or will be at some point? Share your experiences.  It's a bumpy road from my experience.  It's definitely a lot to deal with. I have 3 stepkids. They're 14, 11, 8. My hands are full. No kids of my own yet. I think a lot of my stress comes from that because I've lost 2 babies. And there's nothing that I want more in this world than to have my own biological children. ... Let's keep the thread going ladies. let's talk!!

Answer

We have a awesome 6 year old girl, it's his biologically but I go into mama bear mode about her. She tells me every time I see her that she can't wait til I am her stepmommy and me and daddy get her a baby brother or sister. Her a cruel mother on the other hand I could strangle. She uses her as a manipulation tool, and talks bad about us to her. Saying how daddy is a liar and that he doesn't love her. She is legit crazy. It's 50/50 custody but she cries child support every chance she gets. All we said is send a list of things she needs and we will get it. So in short being a step mom isn't the hard part it's the dealing with the other parent that causes stress... we are also fighting her in court on a regular basis cause she won't let us have her and then we have to have a sheriff come with us. It's awful!!

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I am a stepmother to a beautiful 7 year old little girl...no kids of my own, but TTC. I love her like she is my own and for all intensive purposes, everything has been great! I worry about how it will be when she is hormonal and going thru puberty! Haha. Her mom and I get along fine for the most part, but she can be extremely selfish and very sneaky. It's tough!

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I'm a stepmother and also pregnant with my first after a year and a half of trying. Being a step is COMPLICATED. Not all bad, not all great, often frustrating. I've had to compromise a lot and have given up a lot just to be with my husband, because of his previous marriage. He doesn't even really understand what I go through which is rough sometimes.
Even just getting pregnant involved a lot of almost fights about TTC because of the damage his first marriage did to him. I had a miscarriage and it almost destroyed our relationship. And recently he missed hearing this little one's heartbeat for the first time with me because his ex was late to pickup the kiddo. 
This step thing can rip your heart out over and over and most people don't get it. They seem to think love fixes everything and is automatic. It doesn't, and it isn't. Love just gives you incentive to stick around long enough to try to work it out. I worry about the future of our family when the new baby is here. Some days it is a 24-hour struggle not to just pack my bag and stick my cat under my arm and run away. Some days I tolerate. Some days we're all really happy.
It's just complicated.

Answer

I'm a stepmom to an amazing 7 year old boy!  I met him when he was 3 fixing to turn 4..  We have a special relationship!!  It took a lot of hard work. But it's worth it.  His mom is so hateful and treats me like dirt!  I never get a thank you or anything when it comes to their son.  Right now we are currently trying to have a baby. This will be my first child..  My stepson asks me constantly when we have him when there will be a baby in my belly.  I hope I can tell him one day  oon. I love being a stepmom but  I am ready to have a baby of my own.

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I'm a step mum to an amazing 10 year old girl, we have an amazing relationship and do so many things together, it's her mother that I seem to have constant issues with, she doesn't accept me as part of her daughters life, I thought this would change but a decade on and it's worse than the beginning, I just continue on with my stepdaughter and hope that as she moves into her teen years I don't lose her love and respect and that if I do she comes back to me in her later life, so tough being a step mum! X

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I'm a son to be step mother. He's 10. He's a sweet boy and tells me all the time "I really like being with you. You'll be my mom someday, so I'm glad." Or "I'm so glad my dad is going to marry you. You're going to be a good mom. And you'll be my mom, so I'm really excited" <3 or he'll just walk up and hug me. He's such a loving little creature hahaha

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It kinda sucks and I wish I wasnt one):

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When we become step parents we are coming into a child's life without knowing them from birth and without having that nurture nature bond you have to earn their love, trust, and everything.  My kids have definitely grown to love me and I can say the same. I think about it every day. They were very open and accepting of me when I first became a part of their lives even with the separation or their mother and my "husband" now. And we all know that kids can be hard on you at all times. The one and only thing that really get to me is that some days I do think and I am doing my best and trying my hardest everything for them and give them my all and taking care of these kids that aren't mine and I don't have kids of my own. I get scared that my want for my own biological children will fade away. What do you guys think?

Answer

I am a step mother to a 5 and 8 year old. Pregnant with my first. I met the youngest when she was 2, and oldest when she was 6. I am very close to both. They have different mothers, one of them-it was a long bumpy road full of frustration and anxiety and trouble getting more time with the little one. But things are better than ever, I am very good friends with mom now. And we get her 50/50. The other, we are cordial with mom. Went from no time at all to every other weekend. No arguing which is good. It was rough getting to where we are with schedules and relationships. I am blessed to have things the way they are now and to have two beautiful girls see me as their mom too. :)

Answer

I feel the same way. Ok so I don't want to sound like a bitch but to some might.  My husband and I tried for 3 years and when I finally got my BFP. I lost the baby at 5 months it was boy. Now his 13 year old son lives with us and some times I despise  his son. And my husband as well. Sometimes I just go mad and yell at him for having a baby before he met me and I wouldn't have to deal with this if he had kept his dick in his pants...lol. it's such an emotional roller coaster for me at times. Now I love my step son and I spoil him and we have a great relationship.  But there are times when I think that I could have this relationship with my own biological child. We been trying for another baby for at least 3 to 4 months now and it's even worst every time I take a test and it is negative.  Then I have to go and fake a smile for my step son and fake happiness with him that day. I really just wish I was that type of step mom that loved her step kids like her own or unconditionally. I mean I do in a way...Lord it's hard to explain.  Like I love him but when I'm in my emotions about having kids and losing my baby. I really can get mean with the both of them. They just look at me like in crazy and later they still show me love. I really hope that having a baby changes that anger I feel.

Step mothers/ soon to be?

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