Friends with Babies?

Question

I need some help today. I miscarried earlier this week and I'm still bleeding. I just found out from a best friends husband that she is in labor. While I am so excited for her but this news has hit me so hard. I have this horrible ache and I am so insanely jealous. I am dying to see the baby but I am also afraid to be around infants. Any advice? Did any of you experience something similar?

Answer

I missed carried April 13th at 13 weeks. I grieved for about two weeks then returned to work feeling like most of it was out of my system. Last week I found out my husband's best friend and spouse are expecting their second around the same due date we had had.
 I died. 
It felt like someone took a hammer to my heart and crushed every last shred of hope I had for my lost baby. I had to go home and just lie in bed and cry and cry until I cried out all the pain and was able to hear my thoughts. 
I was jealous, so purely jealous. They get to have their baby and I don't. I can't and they get to. My body didnt do what it was supoose to and hers is. Our family is broken and theirs isn't.
I love them dearly and I'm happy for them but there is no feeling in the world like  creating something out of love and having so much hope, just to go home empty and broken.
After I greived and confronted my feelings, I was ok. I know without a doubt ill shed a tear when I see that baby for the first time. But I'll cry because I loved my baby not because I dont love this new little one. Ill cry because that babies here. Shes a little angel who made it, even though mine didn't. 
So you'll be OK. It'll hurt in more ways than you ever thought possible, but the second you hold that baby for the first time you are going to be so amazed by life again. Just dumbfoundedly greatful for it and peacefully a little sad.

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