Thinking of having myself "fixed."

I'm so devastated and I'm clearly not in the right headspace to make any kind of life altering decision. But, I'm starting to obsess about having myself permanently sterilized. The thought of having to go through something like this again is out of the realm of my grasp. When we say "move on," does that mean try again, decide that kids aren't for you after all, quiet acceptance, or any of the above? Is anyone else having these obsessions?