Feeling pressured to use a family name?

Question

Has anyone felt pressured by family to use a family name?

My mother in law approached me and my sister in law a long time ago and mentioned how special it would be if we ever named a child after her brother Rusty who passed. And it's nothing personal against him I just really don't like the name. Or my husband's grandmother wants us to name a child after her deceased husband Edgar Melvin. And I don't like that name either!

Do I bite the bullet and just name my future children names that I think are terrible? Or pick names that my husband and I both like? Has anyone found an alternative like maybe copying the family members initials or something?

Thanks ladies! 😚

Answer

Name your child what you want. If you want to you could rework their names. Instead of Rusty, maybe you could use Rus or Russell. Instead of Edgar you could use Edward or Edison. Just something to think about. Ultimately the decision is yours.

Answer

I wanted my brother and sister in law to name their son with the name Scott or Skot in it (our deceased uncle and their son was due on his birthday) but I didn't say anything to them. They wound up naming him Jace Alexander, which I love. But ultimately, it wasn't up to me or anyone but then, and I was okay with that. When we told everyone (my fiancé and I) that we were having a baby, we had quite a few people suggest names and his aunt said "Ummm. I believe a Maryjane would be great." (After his granny Mary) but I hated it. And she kept saying it at every family get together, etc. even before we knew what we were having. We decided not to tell people her name until she was born to avoid anything like this.

Answer

never name your kid a name you dont want it to be named!!! you're carrying them for 9 months! and you're giving birth, not them! they can deal with it, it's your kid

Answer

I'm currently 16 weeks and we are finding out the gender of our baby on Saturday anyways if we are having a girl one of my sister in-laws wants us to use her middle name for our baby but my husbands family has a bunch of drama queens in it so I know if I use it the other women in his family will throw fits about us using her middle name and not theres especially my self centered mother in law. So I politely told my sister in law that we wouldn't want to make anyone else in the family upset so we are not going to use any family names it worked out pretty well for us. It's your child and you should be the one choosing the name.

Answer

It makes it awkward that they approached you about this, but ultimately it's not their decision. You and your husband loving the name is the most important. If you WANT to honor a family member who has passed, great, do it. But if you hate the name, odds are you'll regret it that you but the bullet. I'm using my grandpas name as a middle name cuz I don't like it as a first name.

Answer

It is your baby you and your husband should decide the name. I would politely tell them we will consider the name but do not make any promises on actually using it.

Answer

My parents are def laying the pressure! My dad was named after an uncle who passed as a baby, his name is Tony Lee. My parents didn't think they could have children, so when they got pregnant with me, they named me Toni Leigh. Now they really want me to keep the tradition going and name our first, a boy, Tony Lee. But I'm not that crazy about my own name lol plus I feel weird naming our son after his mom.

We've dodged the convo a few times, and told them we are still deciding. But I worry they will take it personally.

Answer

u could do some variation of the names or use the initials, but I would just name him/her what u want and don't worry about what others think or say. if u use a name u don't like, you'll regret it. good luck!

Answer

Use them as middle names?

Answer

Ask for a family tree and pick a family name that you enjoy.

Feeling pressured to use a family name?

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