🔴My Horrible Traumatizing Birth Story...

🔴Anyways, after not sleeping for 2d my time finally came around midnight of 05/30. I was lucky to fall asleep for 30min until my water broke while I was in bed. It was a crazy sensation & felt liked a waterfall of pee. I ran to the toilet to finish this waterfall while I frantically called my parents. For the time the flow stopped so I thought it finished... I had to go down 3 stories to only trigger more flow & was not prepared for this so my water is releasing all over the place. During the whole ride to the ER it kept going & I'm sitting there stuffing towels down my pants... My crappy bf at the time decides to just drop me off at the front as these people run out with a wheelchair (as my waterfall is STILL flowing, it was ridiculous).

🔴So my bf disappears but my parents show up to support me. Around 4am I'm really hurting so they gave me the epidural. I could feel the needle in my spine injecting cold liquid & it's as if my brain had no awareness of the lower half of my body. Nonexistent, numb, & depressed as hell.

🔴I have yet to have another wink of sleep & was so miserably exhausted. For 5h (10am to 3pm) I was stuck at 9cm constantly pressing my epidural button as much as possible. It was the worst! The doctors told me if I don't reach 10cm in an hour then they will perform a C-Section due to both the baby & I going through a lot of stress. Whatever was going on I could feel every little thing regardless of medication. Almost an hour later I finally reached 10cm so I was given the green light to start pushing. For little over an hour I lie there humiliated with a spotlight on my hooha, crying & dying from the pain, & throwing up stomach acid on myself. It literally felt like a chainsaw slowly cutting through my body... I could even feel the doctor cutting my hooha open to give the baby more space.

🔴At 4:18pm my daughter finally came into this world, I was in labor for 16h. What should have been a beautiful moment was quickly ruined by the nurses... After they clean her up, stitch me up (while feeling every needle tug), they hand her over to me. I noticed all the nurses were gossiping in secret & one of them had the nerve to tell my family they all think my daughter has mild Down Syndrome. First off, out of all the ultrasounds I had, none of them ever gave hint of problems or disabilities. Secondly, I had been a Special Ed teacher/caretaker for 4y at this point & knew all the disabilities up close & personal. I did not see the resemblance, they should have never said anything! But there I am holding my baby admiring her beauty canceling out everyones crying over her "disability." I just thought to myself how ironic this is & how prepared I am if she truly had Downs. I was willing to accept it with a smile & did not shed a tear.

🔴(I had to stay an extra day at the hospital so they could do special testing on her but the results were negative so she is/was a perfectly healthy baby)! ALMOST FINISHED...

🔴So later that night, a few hours after I gave birth, I still haven't been able to sleep. I was too attached to let them take her & watched over her like a hawk. My bf eventually showed back up looking like he was on drugs & had been drinking... How supportive. He goes straight to sleep on the couch & didn't interact with us much. At some point my daughter starts severely choking & all this heavy white looking tar stuff is spuing from her mouth. I couldn't get up due to my legs out of commission & having a stitched up hooha. I'm screaming for help to my bf to wake up & you know what he does? He gets up & yells at me to let him sleep & says he'll punch my face in if I don't shut up followed by storming outside the room. He left me alone in utter darkness & heartbreak (after this he disappeared for 2w). I throw myself out of my bed to get my baby, whatever I did helped her...

🔴I'm just sitting there in the darkness bawling over my horrible 24h experience holding my precious gem I created... I love her so much, she is the light in my life & all I ever need.