Where'd my husband go?

Question

I love my husband, and this post is in no way meant to be a bash....BUT I don't know where the man I love has gone.

He's a paramedic and works his 2 required 24hr shifts then has been picking up extra on top of that. I've seen him 2 nights this week from 7pm when he gets home until we fall asleep around 10.

When he is home me and my 5yr old son are constantly trying to give and get affection. All he says is "ugh! You guys never leave me alone!"

I'm 39.1 weeks pregnant and want so badly to be intimate with my husband... not only to help induce labor... but because it's been weeks and will be several more after baby arrives, which I'm not sure he understands.

I can't get him to touch me for much more then the obligatory peck of a kiss...and a quick "I love you" before running out the door for yet another shift.

What have I done?? Am I that repulsive because of my big belly? Has he changed his mind? I love him desperately and want my loving, affectionate husband back!!!

Answer

I don't think it's you, he's probably exhausted and worrying about money with a new baby coming. I'm not saying he's handling it right, but men stress and act weird. I'm sure everything will go back to normal-ish after baby is born.

Answer

I would say he's just under the pressure of feeling like he has to make sure there's extra income for baby. My husband recently went back to work to a job he despises but went back for consistency, great benefits, etc. During his first 2-3 weeks, he was a grump with a quick temper switch. At this point for us this can be perceived as rejection but it's not. It's them having to work through his stress. I say write him a sweet letter of how much you love and appreciate him, how he'll be the best 2nd time daddy and how you value him and his hard work. Put it in his bag where he's sure to find it.

Also, see if someone can watch you son and have a dinner for you two prepared during that 3 hour block, ask and let him talk about work, light topics and maybe tell him to his face how much you love him and then flirt and touch a bunch to see if he gets in the mood. My hubs was a little resistant at first but then I gave him a blowjob and it was all horses to the gate after that. 😏

The most important thing to remember is it IS NOT you! You are a beautiful woman/mother developing another life. He sees that and you must see that too. I hope you guys get the affection you seek and that you my preggy friend get laid soon!

Answer

All I would suggest is trying to positively communicate how much you miss him and want to be affectionate. Is he trying to get overtime pay? Maybe he's stressed and this is his way of nesting. Oh men, if we could just read their mind.

Answer

He is probably going through things that don't have anything to do with you at all and doesn't understand the impact that has on you. My guess is that he loves you and your little family so much that he is pushing himself to be the best he can be so he can continue to provide for you and insure that everyone will have what they need before Baby comes. My advice to you is to remember that he can't read your mind (I'm guilty of this!) so if you are really hurting take some time to sit him down and tell him how you feel. Try to keep the conversation about your emotions and not about anything he is doing "wrong" so that he is less apt to be defensive. I'm sure the last thing he wants is to hurt you. Be receptive to what he has to say, I bet he is exhausted and misses you too. Hang in there!

Answer

My fiancé has shown his stress by going out to the bar every Friday with his best friend who's also the baby's God father. He's also become weirded out with having sex. Afraid he's touching the baby. And plays with me that I'm just using him to induce my labor. But he's also shown his excitement by order things on his own for the baby. The other day was a package of Baltimore Ravens onesies hats bibs, burp cloth and some knee pads for when he starts crawling! I find it adorable. I don't mind him going out to the bar every Friday either, because he makes the rest of the weekend for me and our oldest. I think your hubby could just be exhausted he just wants to relax. Doesn't make it right but I really believe he's just tired. Hope it gets better!

Where'd my husband go?

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