Birth control pills

Hi ladies. I have been married for almost two years and in that time been taking bc pills. I have recently stopped after talking with my husband because each night I would feel guilty popping that pill as if I was deliberately defying God's will for me. Has anyone else felt this way? I know God is more powerful than a little pill but I have felt better about myself now that I have stopped taking them. On top of that, I have been having many early signs of pregnancy even though we use condoms (which I'm also not very fond of). If I become pregnant before my husband is ready I will feel bad. Any words of encouragement, or personal stories?