Was it rape?

Question

There was a guy 2 yrs older than me, both 18+. For half a year we would text sometimes (not romanticly, just a friendly getting to know you way & not everyday). Eventually we started hanging out - but only at night on weekends and only to smoke. I never paid for it, he always did and shared it with me. This went on for most of the time. We would smoke while talking as friends then I would leave. I even once went over just to hang out without smoking. Then one night I was out with friends drinking and he texted me to go chill. So I did, by myself. And I shouldnt have because I was drunk and then I got high and I was so out of it. He then made a move and I knew this was not what should be happening but I let it happen. I wanted to but I also didn't. Like I wanted to not bc I liked him but bc it seemed fun. But I didn't want to bc I didn't love him nor was I planning to be his gf. He gave me oral then we had sex twice. It all seemed so fast but I felt too slow to react and my judgement was foggy due to the drugs/alcohol. He always seemed flirty but In a very low key way and I mever reciprocated the flirtyness. This was also the first and only time I had went over clearly drunk. He was always nice and polite. I never said no but i never said yes either. If i werent drunk i don't think i would have done it.

Answer

Rape is when it's forced and it doesn't sound like he forced you. Especially because you didnt tell him no. If you said no and he forced you, that would have been rape. It honestly just sounds like you made a mistake because you were under the influence of drugs and alcohol.

Answer

yes technically speaking it would be considered rape in a legal sense. it clearly states that rape is when the person does not give consent or is unable to give true consent due to their physical state (if someone has been drinking/smoking, even if they're not drunk, their judgment is impaired and therefore consent cannot truely be given so it is considered rape)

Answer

I feel like this is a tough one because both were high, but she was in addition, drunk. And would not have done it if she wasn't drunk. If she was just high she would have been ok & not had sex - like the other times she went over. I wonder if he pulled that move because you were for sure out of it... But he was out of it too, being high. But you were more. And he sounds like a pothead so he probabli still knew what he was doing.

Answer

You shouldn't have sex with someone who's intoxicated because they are not in a position to give consent. However, I wouldn't consider this rape because he himself was intoxicated too (I presume?) so you both just made a mistake that you now regret. However, if he was completely sober and you were out of it, I would 100% consider this rape because he was in a position of power since he was clear-headed and able to make responsible decisions and he would've taken advantage of you by having sex with someone who could not consent.

Answer

At the end of the day, you did not say yes...so it's non consensual/assault and you were under the influence (it doesn't matter if he was or wasn't, he still didn't ask for consent). If you feel personally violated, no one can really tell you that you aren't. Perhaps talking with your doctor would help gain an objective medical opinion.

Answer

While he shouldn't have had sex with you while you were clearly intoxicated, unfortunately, this would not be rape. If he drugged you, then yes, it would be, even if you didn't say no. But because you drank and smoked by your own free will and then allowed it to happen, no, toms not.

Answer

I'm sorry this had to happen to you, it's a yucky situation. If you were drunk you could not give consent. Was he drunk? If he was sober then yes he took advantage of you while you were in that state.

Answer

You were drunk, by the sounds of it your not or wernt over the age of 18 and even though it was your choice to continue to do it you weren't thinking straight. 
You may not want to press charges but you could because you are or were under 18 and he wasn't, and you were drunk.

No man should take advantage of a girl when shes drunk. Even if you wanted it.

Was it rape?

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