Why am I like this =(

Question

Im a jealous person when It comes down to my bf. I feel as if another girl is either saying hi or is attractive and talks to hin I get jealous because I feel as if im not good enough or he wants soneone else. Im not perfect. I even got jealous when my friends started following hin on instagram. And even more jealoua when my cousin (who has a bf) started following him and my bf liked he pics (of her and her bf as well) but still... why am I this way. Like im juat preparing myself for him to hurt me. I also dont have confidence in myself and think im never good enough 😔 For anyone. Yes people tell me im beautiful and pretty but... I only believe them in that moment 😔 Then im sad again. I have trust issues and i can be a little controlling at times.   
But when I find someobe I love or care about... i give my all. I just want someone just as crazy about me then I am about them.... or maybe I need to work on myself more. Try finding myself and who I am as a person 😔😢😓

Answer

You're insecure. That's it. Sorry to be so blunt but that's the truth of it.

In my opinion you're not ready to be in a relationship if you can't cope with the existence of other women in the world. It doesn't matter how much of yourself you put into a relationship,  you can't love someone 100% unless you love yourself first. You need to put focus on you first. And only after you are happy and comfortable with who you are then you won't have these issues so badly.

Answer

It sounds like you are insecure. Insecurity will cause you to be jealous for no reason bc you look at every situation to compare yourself to and find you don't measure up. If you want to "fix" this jealousy issue, learn to love yourself for who you are and look at yourself as enough, instead of constantly comparing yourself to the world.

Answer

Have you been cheated, abused, or tortured in a previous relationship? Because I have.. I have trust issues like you wouldn't believe. I don't care if he talks to girls, just as long as nothing out of the friend zone is said. I feel the same way but not as bad.  But my past two relationships I was cheated on, over & over. Beat the hell out of. I don't trust guys. Not after what I been through. I learned to love myself. Because no matter what, you can't change your looks and there will ALWAYS be a woman prettier than you. And me. And the next woman. & so on.  We can't help how we look unless we get surgery lol. Believe me I don't think I'm no model yet men compliment all the time. I don't see it. It was really bad back then. They had MD believing no one else would want me, I was hidious looking, etc. You make me feel as if you been put down by a man. I was already a little insecure and then they made it a 1000x worse. The above posters probably hasn't been through what I have. Men are the cause of it. Not being faithful. My now husband took me when I was broken and built me into a beautiful, secure, loving, and trusting person. I told him before I have horrible trust issues and I'm broken, you shouldn't even try but he was determined lol. Try talking to yours. Maybe he'll understand. Not all men will though.

Answer

Both the poster who said you are insecure are right.  Jealousy is a symptom of some deeper feelings and issues..  A book that helped me identify why I was over reacting so much is called "stop overreacting"  has an image of spilled coffee on on the front..  Try reading that

Answer

Ditto on what everyone else said about insecurity. Jealousy and insecurity is what drives people away. Nobody wants to date someone who does not trust them. I agree that you are not ready for a relationship. Take time to find what is special about you (and FYI, physical beauty should not be in that equation). What is your identity? How are you unique? If you don't think you are, you probably are being too self critical. For instance, I am very introverted and I hate that about myself... But it makes me a great listener and people always like that trait in me.

Do you have something you always wanted to learn? Learning something new such as a skill always gives me a boost in confidence. Take a class in sewing, cooking, ceramics is fun... It also keeps the mind from dwelling and worrying. An occupied person does not have time to worry about who is posting on whose account, etc.

It's good that you recognized this issue. Many people take it out on their partner other than looking at themselves. They use the excuse of "well I just love you more" and other hurtful comments that can drive a person away. I know this because I was on the other end of being the gf of a jealous bf. Good luck in working on bettering yourself.

Answer

There will always be a woman fitter, smarter, prettier, sexier, more outgoing, more curvy, thinner, etc than you. Your job is not to compete with every female in the world. Your job is to make yourself happy, and make your man happy. If you can't focus on this, you probably, like everyone said, need to focus on what really makes you love yourself. Try journaling every day. Try making a list of 40 things you like about yourself. I thought I was ok with myself and even I had trouble filling the list, but now I love looking back on it. You should consider doing soul searching and learning to respect your own femininity.

Why am I like this =(

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