No sex drive!

My husband and I have been together for four years. We just got married two weeks ago. Our life behind our closed bedroom door has always been rocky . From the get go and still now it seems like we act like two very shy school kid virgins.  Always waiting for the other one to make the first move. I want to but then I don't because he ends up feeling bad when I do and he's not in the mood and I end up rolling over and crying my self to sleep. And I don't like to give him a reason why he's disappointed with him self either. . It's hard to explain. But it's always ALWAYS been an issue to me. I want to feel wanted to feel craved to feel like I'm sexy and he can't keep him hands off or just something that lets me feel like he actually wants to have sex with me. Our first four months together we had sex only four times. It was kinda one sided. I did most the work. I had to get him into it. I don't have a problem with that because I'm kinda more sexually advanced then he seemed to be. But after months of me joking or trying to do little things to get his attention sexually to maybe get him to try harder I had a break down. I couldn't deal with it any longer. I'm not going to lie I was kinda a slut as a younger person. I liked and used the sexual attention for my inner security . I loved the feeling of someone that showed proof that they wanted me. Getting back  my husband and I don't have sec often it's something I have learned to deal with because I love him. We did have a small break up at year three due to the no sex problem. But we got back together because he honestly is the person who I love more then anything and I would give up sex forever if I had to just to be with him. I've done everything I could think of in the past to get il him more comfortable and in the mood. It litterly is the only thing we have ever really fought about.  Time after time of rubbing jumping on top trying to just get him more in the mood it leaves me feeling like its me. I'm not sexy enough or something. And I know I am I have had lots of people who complement me or try to "pick me up " lots of people tell him how lucky he is and comment how sexy I am to him. He a bigger guy and he tells people that he got Lucky when he found me. But I'm lost on things ideas  he wants to have a baby but you need to have sex for that to happen. He's just NEVER IN THE MOOD.