I have never been diagnosed with PPD. I have never brought it up to anyone before as I don't want to go on any meds. The first few weeks PP were definitely the hardest and I have got much better since then but I still have many hard days. I have twins and no help. I am with the babies 24/7 and have no way of getting a break alone other than a bathroom break. I hate to admit this and can't about it with anyone but I seem to favor one baby more. I love them both of course but when one cries or needs something I feel more resistant and the other doesn't bother me as much. There are still times that I feel I can't deal with both. I cry all the time. I have endless guilt literally at all times. I feel no matter what I do it's never enough. There will be times when both babies need me and I will just sit staring thinking where to start and won't do anything at all. I'm not dangerous to them or me and don't have any thing towards that nature. I just feel down and guilty all the time. I don't feel I can talk about this with anyone I know. I don't want people to see me as a bad mom or inadequate.