Pregnant and unhappy
I found out last week that I was pregnant. I will do my first scan next week but guess I'm in week 5 by now. My fiancé and I decided two months ago that I would stop using contraception but since I've made tests before that showed that it would be hard for me to conceive naturally, I took for granted that we had a year or more before anything would happen.
Now, I should be happy and very grateful but to my surprise I'm angry and really sad. I'm 34 years old and at the end of my MBA plus I'm working full time. I had planned to get a new job before a baby (I'm a freelancer now = I'll only get a tiny state maternity pay). The studies was a way for me to get a job I actually enjoyed. We also planned to travel to South America as a celebration to me finishing the MBA in February. Now I can only think of how much the baby destroys it for me because all plans goes out the door. Nobody will hire a pregnant woman in the UK. :(
I don't know what to do because my partner is so happy and it feels wrong to remove it just to try again in 1-2 years again. I'm childish, I know but still furious. When my life was just about to start then I'll be stuck at home with a kid. Will this ever pass? Has anyone else felt this way?
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