1st day back to work....

Well today was my first day back to work, it was awful. I had a D&C on 10/22, and then my husband and I left for a already scheduled vacation on 10/26. Today was my first day back. I'm a nurse in a NICU. Not only was it hard to be around the babies, but it was hard to be around all my pregnant coworkers, I was the 8th girl pregnant before my loss. Most of my coworkers had no clue. The kindest person was the nurse I saw in employee health who was just doing her job and asked why I had been off for 3 days before my vacation. When I answered she cried, hugged me, and prayed over me. I don't know how I'm supposed to go back again I the morning. I'm so broken. I was in "my bubble" on vacation, I wish I was back in my bubble. On vacation I was ready to try again, after today, feeling the raw pain of the loss again, I don't know when I'll ever be ready to try again. I could cry myself to sleep tonight, I feel so empty, so lost, I miss my baby.