Hate Holidays

I wish I could pretend to like Holidays but I don't. And I feel bad because of my son. Right now he is too little to understand but when my mom passed away everyone just forgot about my existence. Every year on Christmas there would be one gift under the tree for us older kids. It was always little but for some odd reason everyone forgot me. So while everyone is happy spending time with everyone I would wonder what I did wrong to be forgotten. 4 years later nothing changed at all. I'm the youngest of 7 the oldest being 35. I still haven't figured out what I've done to be completed forgotten by my entire family but it hurts. Christmas isn't about gifts it's about being around the ones that love you. But how can I feel loved when I'm the only one left out?