Should we have paid my MIL to watch our son?

Question

I have a 2yr old son. After I gave birth I stopped working for about 10months to stay home w/ him until I felt comfortable going back. I initially wanted my son to go to daycare, that way he could get used to being around other kids.
My Mum will often watch my nieces and nephews but I thought it'd be too overwhelming for her to watch so many kids at once, plus I wanted him to make friends outside of family.
My MIL however offered to watch him when needed & since then that's what's been happening. He's been going between either my Mum, my sisters & my MIL.
Recently I've brought up the idea of Childcare again bc as ridiculous as this sounds, my son isn't used to being around white/Caucasian people. (I'm Polynesian & my other half is Egyptian/Italian.) My MIL tho got beyond mad and yelled at us saying it was disgusting that we'd pay a bunch of strangers to watch our son yet expected her to do it for free.
It's not like we dumped him on her doorstep whenever we wanted & although we never actually gave her money, I feel like we 'compensated' her for her time w/ other material things. i.e. random gifts here and there, jewellery, spa packages, flowers, for Christ's sake I bought her a new washer/dryer & paid her car registration in the same week and that ish ain't cheap. 
What do you guys think? Should we have straight up given her money for watching her grandson? I'm curious..

Answer

That should have been discussed before she started watching your kid that way you both would have had that arrangement in place and not dealing with it after the fact.  You definitely wouldnt be in this situation now if that had been done. But honestly if you want to put your kid in daycare it is your choice. After all this time she didnt ask to get paid for it so it sounds like she didnt want to be paid. It seems like she is saying that because she is upset that you want to put your kid in daycare.

Answer

I've never seen a grandmother who would take money for watching her grandchildren.

Answer

My mother in law watches my 6 year old when we both work, mind you he's my hubby's 'step son' and she has NEVER asked for money! Maybe asked me to pick up a gallon of milk before I bring him by because she doesn't have any, or goldfish for a snack later. Toilet paper once lol I think the only times I have left money ($20) was for when I wanted them to go out to eat together instead of her making something at home (we live in Chicago, many places to eat)

Answer

Personally, I don't think so. As long as you're not using her as a full time care taker. My BF, on the other hand, paid his ex-wife's mother to babysit his children because he worked after they got out of school. So, they were there 5 days a week after school and sometimes would stay the night because he was working late.

Answer

My mother and mil watch my daughter for free when needed occasionally.  When I didn't have anyone at one point I did pay my brother since he didn't really want to and I needed him to for a while.  I would recommend preschool/day care. For us its nice because my daughter is an only child (until june!) And she needed to socialize more with other children her age. I really love where I have my daughter and she has made so many friends and learns so much there.

Answer

It depends. If it's a scheduled thing like every day, I'd say yes. My grandmother watched me and my two sisters from the time my mom went back to work until we were old enough to stay home alone and even then she took us to school until we could drive. When we weren't in school, she kept us all day and when we were she kept us after school until my parents got off work. My parents always paid her, granted it was more when we weren't in school or summertime. Any time we went over there on weekends, that was grandma time! And when she was just taking us to school and back home, my parents just gave her gas money for the most part. But if it's just a every now and then thing, I'd say it's just spending time with grandma.

Should we have paid my MIL to watch our son?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products