I don't know what's wrong with me I hate being this way :(

Whenever I am pregnant I get super jealous when other people in my family or friend get pregnant too but it's even worse when I am not like, when my sister in law announced at Christmas I excused myself to the bathroom and started crying. I get jealous so badly, I want to be happy for other people but I just can't. Same thing happens when I find out other people are getting marriaged even though I am married too. It's so bad I don't go to any weddings!