Help and please no judgements

Okay so this is my 3rd biological baby. One angel then my rainbow boy and now this beautiful baby which is a girl. My husband and I are so nervous. He has 2 boys from his first marriage. I'm the only mom they know. They are 9 and 6. I'm 21 now and I've been raising then since I was 18. Wehave Rieley who is 16 months and all 3 are boys. We are having or fist girl. My husband it's ecstatic but I'm so nervous. From age 11-18 i was brutally raped and beaten every day by my step grandfather I was terrified of Darren (s/o) when I first met him bc I was terrifed of men. I'm scared to being a little girl into the world bc of my past I have anxiety severe depression and siezures bc of it. I'm sorry for the rambling but any advice or prayers to make the ill feelings go away?