So over this process

Pauline 🌈 • Eleven angels in heaven. "Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue..."
I feel so over this entire process. We got our bfp after 7 long months of trying (I know, people try for YEARS). Our bfp ended in miscarriage just 11 days after we found out. I'm now 2 days late for AF and bfn are all I am getting. Miscarriage messes up hormone levels for months after in some cases, and I just feel so done. I think I need to just focus on myself for a month or two. I'm ready to hit the gym hard like I love to do (but was advised not to do while ttc). I'm tired of thinking of every little detail and planning out my sex life. Temping, peeing on sticks, praying, symptom spotting, the agonizing waiting period each month. Over it. I want to be selfish and think of ME for a while. 
Maybe I will find my abs again before I lose them to baby. Maybe I'll go to mug night at the pub next week. Whatever I do, it's for me. 
Ttc sucks so bad.