How to agree on getting married

When my SO asked me to marry him i wanted a wedding and he didnt. Wen he asked he knew we were going to have a long engagement because i didnt want to get married right away. After 2 going on 3 years i have since then changed my mind and would much rather do a courthouse wedding but now he wants an actual wedding. I cant justify spending so muvh money on wedding when we have his dauggter to care for and saving up for our own place. Plus im not the type that likes being up infront of people with all eyes on me. I get anxiety from that so i just want a nice little court house wedding. I have a big family he does too but he doesnt speak to many of them because they never show up when invited to his daughter's bdays or even holidays but we always go to their kids bdays. They all have a snooty attitude because they have money. But i would prefer the people close to us to be there. How do i go about convincing him that this is the best way for us to get married?