It will be a long and controversial rant.

I can say that my women in my family are "feminists" but without the feminist ideology. My grandmother was a university lecturer, half of my aunts and cousins are successful scientists, physicians etc. At the same time they "have it all": married with children. The reason is, that they had their careers during the Soviet union, so the working hours were short and convenient, they didn't have to fight their way in a purely male society- socialism gave them freedom. Also, their jobs were easy and not stressful. They sat with their collegues, drank coffee, smoked cigarettes, chatted, and well, worked in between. So a career for them was both business and fun. They enjoyed their careers.

I, on the other hand, live in a totally different country, a Western one. I have to work 43 hours a week, have 2 hour roundway commute between home and work, when I come home i have a load of housework as well (my husband does a lot, but it is still tough), i have a toddler, and i'm pregnant. My husband works long hours as well. We see our child and each other for 1-3 hours a day.

My dream is to leave this job and to find a part-time job in my own town. I know that it will be a low paying job, and i will never have the salary and the status, which i have now, if i do that. But i suffer at my present job. It is a realtively high-status one, but my bosses are horrible. Two of them are incompetent, lazy and just not fit for their jobs. The other one is a professional, but he's a bully.

So, i told my mother that i want to leave my job and find a parttime job in order to spend more time with my family and not to have a nervous breakdown sooner or later.

She was really.... upset? Surprised? Disappointed? She said: you have a very good job, with a good salary. Why can't you just suck it up and do your job? I tell her: because soon i'm going to have 2 kids, and i can't see them just 1 hour per day. She says: my present job is very demanding as well. I also work long hours and i don't complain. I say: yes, but when you had 2 small children, you worked pretty convenient hours. She says: that's true, but back then it was another time and place.

She says that she wants to see me financially independent and successful. I understand that. But if i continue working this work, all my salary will go to paying two babysitters. I don't feel successful, i feel miserable. And she thinks that i'm a loser for quitting such a place. That i will be sorry later.

She constantly compares her present job, which is really demanding, with mine. I know her job is hard, but she doesn't have 2 young kids now. And when she had, she was home by 16.00.

I understand that she worries that our family budget will be much lower when i quit this job, but i want her to understand, that this job sucks my life and my energy. I'm being bullied and there is nobody i can complain, and i have to do my lazy bosses' job from time to time. I'm anxious and i can't sleep at night and even during weekends i constantly think about my job and i feel really, really miserable.

I know my mother and i know that when i quit, she is going to remind me that 'i made a huge mistake" more many years to come.

I feel pressure to "make a career", and to be a good mother (my mom thinks that we don't develop our child enough), so basically i'm pressured to be a superwoman, which i'm not.

Even if i try to ignore my mother, her ideology is already rooted deep in my mind. I also think of myself as a weak spoiled girl who doesn't want to work hard, and a bad mother who doesn't invest enough in her child and just complains of being "tired".