Current thoughts with a Newborn

Everything is a boob until proven innocent.
The most dangerous game is changing a post circumcision dirty diaper before he pees on me. 
Changed said diaper, swaddle him, he poops 
Crap I took too I need a new onesie.
Awe he fell asleep while feeding, nope he didn't finish swallowing, now I need a new shirt. 
He's been sleeping a while I'm worried. **pokes baby** oh crap he's fine exit quickly before he see's me! 
I will not co-sleep, I will not co-sleep, co-sleeping.
How can something so cute smell so bad?!!
Well you're the one who unlatched why are you mad at me???
Trust me, this swaddle thing seems cruel, but once I'm done you'll thank me!
He's fussing, is he awake? Nope sleep. No awake, no sleep. **fall back asleep** he's awake.