All Lies Treated Equal?

Question

My husband has been acting really short and had a temper for a while now. He quit smoking and I chalked it up to that, but he seems to be hiding things from me. I've caught him smoking twice now. Once I had to outright ask him and he said he had. The other time I just saw him. But I had asked him before and he said no to it. Obviously he was. But he's been really weird lately and since he lied about that I can't help but think he is lying about other things as well. I straight up asked him if he was sleeping with anyone else because of a conversation we were having and he unconfidentally said no. It was a weird no. But I'm also 26 weeks pregnant and not sure if I'm overthinking this all. I just can't help that somethings wrong. But maybe he's just lying about the smoking?

Answer

Have you been on him a lot about not smoking? If so then he probably lied to avoid a fight. Not that it's ok to lie but smoking is an addiction and it's very tough to quit. Unless there are other signs of him cheating I would say you're probably fine.

Answer

If you don't trust him, you shouldn't in the relationship. Trust is key.

Answer

Was it his decision or yours for him to quit smoking? Because it sounds like you might be getting on his case about it and the doesn't want to disappoint you or piss you off.  That could be why he's lying about it. You have to decide which is worse, smoking or lying about smoking. Maybe you could sit him down and let him know that lying/hiding it from you, hurts your feelings and you'd rather that he be honest. And if he comes to you and says, I need a cigarette, don't give him a dirty look or a snide comment because that could lead him back into lying. (I'm making alot of assumptions, I know. None of this could be the case but it's a possible scenario)
If he wants to quit. Let him do it on his terms. My husband is in the process of quitting since the new year. It's a difficult addiction to quit but he's working on it and I know that he will get to be smoke free when he's ready.

Answer

You know your gut, in my opinion. Yes, the hormones make you crazy, and doubt makes you even crazier, but if you think he gave a weird no, then he gave a weird no. Trust yourself. I should've, but I chalked it up to my pregnancy. He wasn't lying when he said he wasn't "cheating", but that's because we have different views on what cheating is, and I found that out very quickly. Be careful and be creative.

Answer

Honestly I think you're totally over thinking this. Just because he lied about smoking doesn't mean he's cheating or lying about cheating. Are you just looking for a problem or something to be mad about?  Sounds like he simply didn't want you to know he had been smoking. I can see why he lied because it seems like you just take stuff and run with it to a place it doesn't need to go. Trying to stop smoking is difficult. Instead of persecuting him for it, try to support him and encourage him. Positive reinforcement works better than negative comments and trying to shame a person.  He's a human being and none of us are perfect; we all make mistakes and we can all use a little support, especially from our spouse.

Answer

Do you guys have other children? Maybe he's just stressed out about the new baby! Are there any other signs that he could be cheating?

All Lies Treated Equal?

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