My SO has two other kids that we get to see on weekends. I love them as my own.

I told my SO last year I want a baby of my own. We started trying and had success.

I'm due in a few weeks.. I've bought everything we've needed for the baby with my own savings, (We've been tight because his job cut him back to 40 hours a week and no overtime. And I don't work because I wanted to be a stay at home mom)

He's never gone to any of my appointments. He's said he would but never has. When I get excited about baby clothes or looking at baby stuff, he shakes his head, laughs and says I'm silly. - why? Why am I silly...(I rarely get excited, I've had an hard time emotionally this whole pregnancy worrying and stressing. (Between my first baby, his kids (his ex is worthless and doesn't take care of the kids and it upsets me deeply), stressing about anything and everything, scared we might not work out in the end, etc)

Why is it silly of me to occasionally feel happy or excited. He doesn't seem involved at all... it upsets me. I try not to let it bother me, but sometimes these hormones get the best of me.

I remember asking if he regrets this and he's said no..

I get he has had other kids... but why can't he be happier.... more involved..

Just venting. I know he loves me and I love him. We are a happy couple but we have our ups and downs. I just have felt so sad and depressed this whole pregnancy. And I wanted to be one of those woman who is so happy and proud and I just haven't been able to feel that way. I've told my SO "why am I silly? It's my first baby." But he doesn't care.. and then negative thoughts fill my head and I feel so down.

Life goes on. I hope things get better once little one is here.. 👍👍💙