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Do what is best for the kids. Its their future you are helping them build
I can't do everything- Mom guilt
I'm a working mom with a five year old on the ASD spectrum and two teenage stepdaughters. My SO and I are both teachers, so we do extra things for money. We have to because we live in South Florida and it is very expensive to live. I tutor twice a week after work for an hour after work. He works basically every night as remodeling kitchens/bathrooms and what not, or coaching job. As a teacher I have to work a ton of hours after contract time. His extra hours mean that he is really unable to help me run the house.
The biggest problem is that our son needs a lot of extra time with speech and other developmental areas. Since he isn't able to help I (due to the second job) I have the job of cookin, running errands, laundry, and cleaning without help. By the time this is done there is not enough time to give my son the extra time he needs. My SO want me to do all the same things that a stay at home mom would do along with bringing home a paycheck. I'm so torn because I don't feel like I have enough time to do anything right. When I spend more time as a mom my job performance goes way down. More at work and my son's delays and the house suffer. My SO has been giving me a LOT of guilt over this lately. Comments like "Do you want him to end up in a home?" Of course not. What mother would.
If I go to part time as a teacher my income would drop low enough that my son would qualify for disability and extra medical help. I'm having a hard time with this decision because it could really affect my career and I know that it could look like we are depending on welfare. I went to college to be independent and help others and never thought I would be in this position.
Any advice? Have you been there? Know how this works? Disabled child? Mom guilt?
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I worked full time for years and I had to switch to part time. It's just to stressful to manage my time, and be a parent. Then last year I quit entirely to stay home. I'm a different person because of it! I am so much more involved with my kids now, and I don't feel crazy trying to get "enough" done. I'm going back to work in 2 years, but for now this is best. We can survive a few years without a few extras, and make it work. Sometimes it's not easy, but then I remember I traded a bigger house for, family and peace. I traded vacations for nights at home, and dinners out for cooking at home with my kids. Look at your budget. Can you move closer to family for more support/ help at home?
My SO has asked me several times to go to part time in order to help our son. I haven't because we live in such an expensive area and don't know if we would have enough money for a five person family. His daughters live here, so we can't move. I need insurance for myself because I quite like have lupus. I've gone through several blood tests. If I go to part time I won't qualify through my job and Florida doesn't offer much in the way of the Market Place plans.
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