Lost, confused, broken. 💔

I know I shouldn't be venting out like this but I seriously have no one to talk to at the moment. I've been trying to get pregnant but nothing has happened. I have this journal where I keep track of everything and I mean everything.... I keep track of my cycles, my dpo's, when I'm ovulating, etc... And I think all this mess is screwing me up. My boyfriend is telling me to keep calm and to not stress so much about it cause that can be the reason that I am not conceiving.... He told me to stop doing all this a delete this app, burn the book, get rid of all these tests, stop scheduling sex, and let it just happen. I'm heartbroken everytime that i think I might be pregnant and it comes out negative , I've at least taken like 30 pregnancy tests these past months! I've been researching non-stop trying to learn new things! I see pregnant woman everywhere and I envy them because I think to myself .... "Why can't that be me?" 😢 & now this... I got my period today. A part of me just wants to stop all this and just end all of this at once. I feel like I've failed my boyfriend as a woman. 
All I wanna do is end things, crawl into a little ball and cry.