Pushed into marriage?

Question

Me(18 turning 19 in 3 weeks) & boyfriend(21) have been together for 3 months. His parents told him he was too old to be living at home anymore and he needed be out by his 21st birthday, so he moved in with me and my dad. My dad moved in with his gf and me and my bf pay the bills and everything. We're super close and love each other to no end. His mom is asking me almost daily when we plan on getting married. At first it was just a cute funny thing and I laughed it off. Now she's really serious and is getting upset with us bc we don't know how we feel about getting married right now. She started
Planning some of our wedding when I spent the day with her. She's talked to ladies from our church about it, and they all say we need to get married bc were living in sin. How do I get my point across that it's our lives and we'll get married when we're financially and emotionally ready??

~ Edit. His parents are baptist I believe and I'm not a baptist. But we all go to church together, spend quality time together, and part together. They just believe that I'm going to "wind up pregnant" and they want us to "do right by the situation."

Answer

That's stupid. Get married when you're good and ready. You're a legal adult. You can make your own decision.

Answer

Next time she brings it up tell her you don't want to discuss marriage at this time because the two of you don't think you are ready right now. Honestly if she didn't want him to "live in sin" she shouldn't have kicked him out...

Answer

I assume they are catholic or something and you dont sound like you are? It can be very difficult for people who are very religious to let their children go against their faith. They believe wholeheartedly that you will go to hell for what your doing. That you are damning your eternal soul.

If you have decided this isnt your faith and you dont believe in it then you need to be respectful of their beliefs but say you dont agree that what your doing is wrong and you will get married when your ready but That you appreciate them caring about you both.

It is a tough one though, i think your going to have to soldier on for a few years and try not to let it get to you!

Answer

You should most definitely WAIT for a while before you get married, and on your terms. When you both want it more than anything in the world to commit to a lifetime together. You may end up getting married before too long, or maybe a while. But that is ok. It is YOUR life and your decision. Your heart has to be 110%. Until then, work on building your relationship and really getting to know eachother's hearts. Do some charity work together, maybe that will keep your parents outa your guys' hair for a little while.. Say you are working on strengthening your bond before you commit to a lifetime together. It's a big deal!!! You want to enjoy it and not feel pressured. Best of luck to you young lovebirds :)

Answer

I understand their convictions concerning living together outside of wedlock and possibility of pregnancy. But it is between you, God, and the other person when and if you decide to marriage. Don't commit out of guilt or pressure. I recommend you guys get pre marriage counceling and also to avoid open displays of affection in front of church members and your family simply out of respect for their convictions. Best of luck

Answer

Don't get married if you don't want to. Kindly remind her that he lives with you BECAUSE they forced him out. You're grown and can make your own decision and they don't need to bully you. (I'm a Christian and what they are saying and stressing to you is wrong of them!)

Answer

My mums Catholic and she brought me up that way (I'm atheist now). When I started dating my now husband at 17 she luckily didn't push the faith into us. We bought a house together after 6 years. We got married after 12 years of being together. I understand your feeling pressured, but your right it is your lives. Give her the stats on the number of marriages ending in divorce. At the end of the day the wedding is a formality that helps with syncing things. I know some people who are more religious would believe otherwise. But I think do what feels right for you.

Answer

When I became pregnant at the age of 19, My son's father and I were pressured into marriage for religious reasons.. That marriage resulted in a messy divorce five years later. So, I suggest that you DON'T get married until you and your partner are truly ready for it.

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Next time she asks tell her y'all need to consult your mutual boyfriend or girlfriend.
  That being in a three way relationship takes communication.

Answer

Being together only 3 months you guys don't truly know all the ends and outs of each other. I mean no disrespect with that comment and I hope you're together for the rest of your lives but don't let anyone push you into getting married if you two don't want to. It will make you resent his mother and possibly each other. My spouse and I own a home together, obviously live together, and are expecting our first child together  in August, if someone was to tell me I was living in sin I'd ask them why my life and my sins mattered so much to them.
You guys are young, enjoy life and being together! No need to rush things if you two don't want it.

Pushed into marriage?

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