What is this feeling?

Sunny
I just broke up with the love of my life. We were engaged.... I had to leave him because he was being abusive. My heart is cold and numb. My body feels stale. I'm nauseous. I can't even cry it out because I can't feel. I feel as if I can't look at any man. I feel like I wont be able to love again. Only one tear falls out of my eyes when I remember him. 
I don't know this feeling. Is it heart break? What is this feeling I'm going through? So, I can give myself peace. Is it my strength lifting me up and making me not feel?

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