Has anyone dealt with addictions in their marriage?

Question

I just recently found out that my husband has a problem and he asked for help. I am very disappointed in him, but feel I can't be because he came to me for help. He did a really good job hiding it for a while.....and then he didn't. He just recently lost his job over this. We have two kids who love him so much and I love him too. I never in a million years thought I would be in this position. I'm clean as a whistle.... I maybe have a beer here or there and tried smoking pot once I think and hated it! I'm not looking to leave him in a time of need.... I want to help him and support him. He wants to get better..... Where do you start?

Answer

There's no reason to be disappointed in him at all. Unfortunately these things sometimes happen. He came to you for help, good on him! Depending on the severity of his problem you've got to decide between inpatient hospitalization if it's severe, or if it's less severe or a more reasonable solution, intensive therapy. I hope he(and you) is very proud of admitting and asking for help; it's the first step to a long road of recovery but he's on his way. All the best!

Answer

Addiction is a disease, don't be disappointed in him. He came to you for help. After I realized my husband was an alcoholic he just got better at hiding it. That went on for two years before he was ready for real help. Two years of fighting and him lying to me, me crying myself to sleep. I wish the first I heard about my husband's problem was him asking for help. You can let this make or break your relationship. I stood by my husband and was as supportive as I could be, even when pushed to my limits. I can tell you that however much you hate him for putting you through this, he hates himself a 100x more. Unfortunately the disease makes them do selfish things. It's not something he can beat on his own. Do what you can to get him help and be supportive but also take care of yourself. My husband is now 3 months sober and our relationship is stronger than ever. We fought through this disease together.

Answer

You are very lucky he has asked for help. My husband is an alcoholic and refuses to stop. He says he will never stop. It is ruining our marriage and I don't even want him near my baby when he drinks. He's not violent or anything but God forbid he drops her or something hurts her. I would never forgive him or myself for letting him near her.

Answer

In my opinion it becomes a question of do you love your husband and if he's done anything unforgivable or unlivable.

He's made the first step and admitted he has a problem. The next step would be to get him into treatment. While he is in treatment,  you should get into therapy so you can ensure you are able to process the situation. After he returns a trip to a couples counselor or his counselor could be a good idea because sometimes when the man has had one role in the family and it has changed and is the responsibility of the woman, it can be difficult to readjust.

Answer

When you're ready, look for a Families Anonymous group near you for yourself. My brother is a recovering addict and it was a huge help to me and my parents when he was going through rehab, especially because I was really angry. It's not going to be easy but the fact that he came to you is a huge step in the right direction! Good luck!

Answer

The good thing is he admitted it thats the first step. My fiance was a addict he hid it from me for nearly a year before he finally admitted it then he got himself help. He's now been clean for over 20 months. Your husband has to be the one to get himself help. After that all you can do is support him as much as you can. It isnt easy and sometimes they do want to give up but jf he sees a councillor they will do everything they can to get him clean. I really do wish u the best of luck x

Answer

I'm sorry love.

Has anyone dealt with addictions in their marriage?

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