Any room for ttc baby #1

I dont want to sound mean or harsh ladies but i feel really Sad when i read someone trying for baby 3 or baby 4 and venting out thoughts.. I am here ttc for baby 1. I never had those little toes..i never holded that little finger.. I have never been pregnant..😔i know no matter how many babies its all the same but i want to join a seperate room where ppl are like me !! Ttc and longing for baby not the one who is already enjoying motherhood 😔😔