When am sad he is happy..

Question

When am sad and depressed my husband talks to much he wants to watch movies or just speak ... he kiss me a lot... he gives me the attention that he nornally dont give me.. and i just want to be alone because am dying inside.. depression kills me!
but sometimes when am so happy he is so cold and just on his phone... he dont speak to much or something....

i dont understand why?

Answer

He probably wants to try and make you feel better. So he may be showing you he loves you and putting in extra effort by trying to do things that make you happy when you're not having a bad day(my depression is helped with medication but there are still dark days for me..just not as many). People who don't have/haven't experienced depression don't understand what it feels like, and don't always know how to help.

For the other times it just might not occur to him that you need him in those moments when it seems like everything is OK. He may think you're ok and he can do his own thing for a while.

I would suggest talking to him about it and maybe suggesting things that help you feel better during the dark times but put less pressure on you to feel like you need to do things you don't have the energy/will/motivation to do anything(when my depression hits hard, I just want to sleep). My husband will bring me a blanket or will quietly lay and hold me when he knows it's one of my especially bad days. It lets him feel like he is trying to help me and lets him remind me that he loves me and is there without putting pressure on me to try and put forth effort I don't have.  You can also let him know that you need the attention on your good days too, and talk about how it makes you feel.

Answer

Maybe because u feel like u don't deserve it

Answer

Because we are all different and our emotions are not aligned.

On a moment you feel you are emotionally stable get to the mental conclusion that when he sees you are sad he shares his happiness with you to cheer you up and make you feel loved and that's great. If you have that reference in the back of your head you can recall it when you are not feeling ok and he is there all happy.

Always try to, even on bad days (because we ALL have those), be empathic 😘

When am sad he is happy..

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