I'm currently struggling with some depression and anxiety. My anxiety likes to come out at night when I lay down and try to fall asleep. I panic and feel like the darkness is closing in on me. I see shadows that aren't really there and it feels like they're coming to get me. My husband lays there beside me completely asleep, and I cry silently because I don't want to burden him with this. My depression is consistent throughout the day. I feel like I am not good enough for anyone, including my family. I'm trying to find a new job and every job comes back to tell me I'm their 2nd choice. That just makes me feel even more that I can't please anyone. My abusive childhood comes rushing back through my head and it makes me feel so small. I was literally fine three weeks ago, but then it gradually started gaining and now I'm to the point where I need those around me to know but I don't want to burden them. My family literally doesn't care because they're all addicts. My husband's family is all I have and I don't want to plant that on them. Even praying isn't working anymore. I've lost all faith. I'm not suicidal, but I don't want it to get that way. Has anyone else ever had these similar situations? If so, how did you deal and manage them? Did you turn to anyone for help. I know I need help. I just don't know who to ask. Thanks for your support. Please feel free to share your stories.