Driving away friends

One of my biggest no no's in a relationship is driving a wedge between your SO and there friends. I always made double sure that no matter what he knew just because his friend and i didn't get along DID NOT mean he had to give them up or not talk to them. Hell hang with them every other day i just won't because we aren't cool.

That being said he did cut 2 friends out because they gave him an ultimatum "either her or us". (All due to the fact that i didn't want to go to there house party where drug use would be). Since then i thought there were no other problems like this.

So now 3yrs down the line his sister and i got into a debate where she demanded a friend of mine not use the word "gay" and when i wouldn't 1 apologize for what he said 2 disown him on fb 3 remove the post and 4 stop defending him. I just took her off my fb which lead to her calling him(my SO) at 11 at night when he has work at 4 in the morning. So i deactivated my entire facebook and just said fuck it (not the first time I've had problems with his friends or family demanding i do something or telling him on my fb to "get your woman/wife in line). Usually when problems arise i do my best not to piss of his family or friends say sorry we disagree, have a nice day and just unfollow, unfriend, block whatever to keep the peace i dont want him losing fucking friends/family and most time i thought it worked out fine!!

So as we are laying there last night i apologize to him for being woken up and for this shit.......he tells me "not the first time I've lost friends due to you or your politics if you were a Democrat this wouldnt happen". I was shocked and hurt honestly, yeh i am republican but i don't preach shit on fb and for me voting id personal not a shouting match. I thought that as adults politics didnt destroy friendships unless you let it but now I'm damn confused and hurt.

I mean wtf do i even do it feels like I'm not allowed to have an opinion since it'll cost him this or that. And now past arguments where he has thrown up the "I've given up so much to be your husband" holds a lot more weight. Has anyone else faced shit like this where you feel backed into a corner either agree with X opinion or make your spouse miserable?