Babies here, Babies there, Babies EVERYWHERE!

I absolutely love babies.

Almost 7 years ago, my husband was in home on leave from his tour in Iraq. Long story short, we got engaged when he was home, got pregnant (I was a week away from turning 21 when I found out), and he had JUST gotten back to his duty station in Iraq when I found out. I was just over 5 weeks along (even the doctor was shocked I knew so early), when I began to miscarry. After the D&E was done, I found out I had cervical cancer. This all happened in a months time, and completely traumatized me.

Ever since then, we've discussed having kids, and not having kids, and my being so afraid because of what happened to us.

Now that all these babies are being born, I think more and more about having a baby, but I'm honestly still not 100% sure if it's really what I want. He tells me he would be more than happy with it being just me and fur babies, and he tells me that if we DID have a baby (just not right now, we want to buy our house first) he would be happy too.

Is it completely awful of me that after all these years I'm still not sure if having a baby is what I want?