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I hate my body and it's affecting my sex life

When I first started dating my boyfriend, I was pretty fit and I had a flat stomach. Three years later, ive gained about 15-25 pounds and I have a horrible, bloated muffin top that I hate. I'm only 19 and I feel like this has a lot to do with my stress levels since graduating high school and starting college, and I was laid off a few months ago and haven't found a job since. I'm pretty much broke and this has also caused my depression to come back. I have a hard time getting out of bed and going out. I used to go to my school gym when I was in high school but obviously now my only option is a membership and I really have no money to do so at the moment..

My mom also makes it really hard to feel motivated about anything. Whenever I attempt to work out like going for a run, she makes these comments that just feel like she's mocking me. My mom has made comments about my weight before and her side of the family is full Filipino - so they value petite and skinny women most. She just overall discourages me and i feel anxious and ashamed about this.

This is really affecting my whole life, especially my sex life. I don't feel confident anymore and I try to cover my stomach as much as possible. Any mention of sex and I try to avoid it or put it off. I turn off the lights during sex and I try to do positions where my stomach is not visible. My boyfriend says that he loves the way I look and that he thinks I'm beautiful but I can't help feeling like he would prefer it if I looked like I did before. This mostly just affects how I feel about myself, especially with summer coming up.

If anyone has any advice on toning up and losing the excess fat on a student budget, please feel free to comment.

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