Am I the only one?

Okay I had 4 pregnancies my first is almost two and I had two miscarriages last year and I'm pregnant with my fourth, I want to be happy and excited but I'm scared to get to happy like before and end up having a miscarriage I been taking it easy well easier then before am I the only one who is scared to get excited? I haven't even went to the doctor yet I don't wanna see a heartbeat then later on its not there and I thought miscarriage has pain come with it but then I'm reading sometimes it doesn't come with pain