Going down the rabbit hole tonight ......

30 yrs old
6 months ttc
DH has extremely low sex drive which makes baby dancing very difficult.......
I'm so down tonight. Soooooo down. 
I wish I could give up but I want to meet our kids so badly. Why do they keep staying in heaven? I promise I'd be an awesome Mom & I'd love them with all my heart. I say this as the tears run down my face. 
Stay positive. Stay strong. It's still early days. Focus on yourself. Let go & let God. Stop stressing. Stop thinking about it & let it just happen. Dont worry. It'll be at the right time. 
Yeah, I know all the stuff I need to tell myself.
But tonight, Im sad. 
I'm sad & jealous & angry & frustrated & full of self pity!! 
Because sometimes, ttc just plain sucks!!!!!!!