Do I refuse to go or go anyway?

Question

Here's a little background: we get my step-daughter 1 week out of every month. Regardless of if she's here, we are never invited to any of my husband's family's events. My step-mother in law is a total bitch and uses my father in law.

So today they wanted to come see my stepdaughter. Which is totally fine. However they wanted it on their watch and said they would text when they're on their way. They didn't even give us a "round about time"!! 
So they texted at 1:30 saying they were on their way but C (stepdaughter) was napping. All of the sudden it's inconvenient for them to come to our house so we then get invited to their family bbq tonight. 
It wasn't their first thought to invite us, only after their "time slot" for C didn't work did they invite us. They could have come when she was awake but it wasn't when they were "free."
I would never withhold C from them but I also won't allow them to only invite us when their original plan of not inviting us to the BBQ but still seeing her doesn't work. 
This is not the first time this has happened and everything just HAS to be on their schedule or it doesn't happen.

So my question is: do I put my foot down, and refuse to be treated this way by not going? Or do I suck it up buttercup and go anyway?

Answer

Go. It really isn't about your feelings, it's about your step daughter. It's best for her to see family. You should really only step in and say "Hell no" if they do anything to hurt her. But if you're busy then you have to say, no sorry. I'm busy and I can't go to the BBQ. But to just say "no I don't like how it's all about your schedule" isn't ok. It's about C and she deserves to see them. They suck, yeah but that doesn't mean she shouldn't see them just bc you feel awkward going because you weren't invited at first.

Answer

Don't go. They sound like a holes. If they want to see their grandchild they can make time and come to you.

Answer

I think you should muster it up and go anyway.  It's not about you it's about the child which btw isn't your child so in reality it's not your place to get between her and her immediate family.  Go to the bbq, eat, and have a good time.  Have you ever thought maybe the issue is with you and not the child?  If that's the case then you need to speak to them about it but NEVER get between your step daughter getting to be with her family.

Answer

It isn't your relationship you should be worried about. This is your step daughter and if you respect them for having a relationship with her then you need to put your feelings aside and do what's best for her. However, know your boundaries and know when it is appropriate to put your foot down. With this, no offense, I think you're overreacting a little bit. Understand people have busy lives and yet they're still trying to have a relationship with your step daughter. Recognize that it's a blessing they want that little girl around and that they love her enough to make time for her. Relationships aren't always about convenience.

Answer

You can't control people who have shitty personalities. I mean, deal with it or don't. It's your decision and your a grown up. If they disrespect you, get up and leave. Yes it's aggravating but I rather C see them for who they really are and see you trying to put that aside for her benefit.

Answer

Seeing as how C is not your daughter, but your stepchild, you do not have the place to come between her and her family. Yea, you don't like them & maybe they don't like you either, but it's not about you and your feelings in this situation are unimportant.

Answer

I would go anyway and have a few "words."

Do I refuse to go or go anyway?

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