Now, our baby is 4 months old and sometimes I think I only love him because I'm supposed to. Sometimes I think the only reason I'm with him is because I don't want him to eventually move on and have someone else around my daughter. I'm a stay at home mom and I'm so grateful that I get to stay home with our daughter but I never ever get 5 minutes to myself. My daughter is extremely clingy, she's attached to me all day even when she's not sucking on my boob she has to be touching me. When she finally goes to sleep I just want a couple minutes to myself but then my boyfriend comes home and immediately starts groping me. I think the fact that I'm all touched out by the end of the day and him not respecting that really puts a damper on things. 

I had an emergency csection. Not even a week after my surgery he was pushing to have sex. I gave in because his begging and pushing and touching was worse than actually doing it. I just wanted to get it over with. I think that's where it all started. The fact that he didn't respect me enough to let me heal after a major surgery. I could barely move, it took me ten minutes to sit up on my own, I couldn't get up with my baby at night, I couldn't hold her and cuddle her the way I should have been able to but yet he still felt that I was well enough to have sex. After watching me suffer and be in pain, he couldn't give me my 6 weeks of healing. 

Instead I had to worry about infection or getting pregnant again because he couldn't wait. I hate him for that.