I miss my baby :(

Found out I was pregnant after 4 1/2 years of trying on April 13, a week later started bleeding pretty bad and told I was miscarrying, and that I had what was called an ectopic pregnancy, and was given a shot an sent home. A week later rushed to the e.r because my tube ruptured and they found the baby in the bottom right half of my tube. Now I'm left with such a horrible reminder a 7 inch scar. I just am having a hard time with everything and left with so many un answered questions. Anyone else feel that way? I'm literally broken.