17 week Abortion

I recently had to get an abortion at 17 1/2 weeks because my family and i were going through a forclosure and became homeless and i already have two young children and knew that i would not be able to afford another one not even the pregnancy even though my husband and i were trying for this one, which made this whole decision much more harder. My husband and i dont talk about it at all.. Like it never happened. He wasnt able to go with me when i was in the hospital because we have no other family and he had to stay home with our children. So i faced this whole thing by myself every doc app. by myself. And now i feel as though the memories and thoughts will never go away i think about what could have been what would have been i dreaded taking back all the new baby clothes i had bought... Im so alone in my heart right now its been a little over 3 months since it happened and i just cant let go. I have nobody to talk to... No family no real friends nothing.