EMOTIONS, WHY!!!

I had a crush on one of my close guy friends for the past year and I decided that it's ridiculous so I have to get rid of the feelings (note: I've been saying this for the past 6 months). As of January, he found out I liked him via friends, he said it was obvious, said he didn't feel the same, and I found out about this two months later. Even though the few months prior, he's been flirting with me a lot. 
He just left for a one month trip abroad (he's not bringing his phone) and he didn't say bye to me formally and I didn't see/talk to him for almost a month. So basically, I'm being rushed with all these emotions which I don't want. I keep telling myself that I don't like him but some part of me just keeps crying out. 
Should I just really try to just shut all these feelings out or keep going with this crush of mine?

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