I cant do it anymore

Laura β€’ 28 yrs old. TTC #1. TTC since Nov 2014. never conceived before. just want my own little miracle.

I am sorry for the negative ranting post but this has gotten the best of me again. It doesn't matter if I pray, take my vitamins, relax, have sex on time, lay on my back after, I, hope, dream, have dreams of a positive pregnancy test. NOTHING WORKS!!! I have picture perfect cycles. The same amount of days for everything every.single.month. I test positive when I take ovulation kits. It's like this app has my cycle down to a perfect science at this point. I don't bother with pregnancy tests anymore because like clockwork, my period will be there on the day it's predicted to be. I can't do it anymore. I don't want to watch another person go through a pregnancy and a first birthday while I'm still trying. I can't call into work to have another day just to cry when I get my period. (Yet that's what I did today). People could literally have 3 kids in the time it's taken me to even try to get pregnant with one. The dumb thing is I can't stop if I wanted to. With my periods being this predictable. It's not like I can magically stop knowing. I'm always gonna hold onto that little hope that maybe it'll work when I should be smart and just know I'll never be a mom. I just wish I could have never started trying because then maybe I wouldn't have to deal with this forever heartbreak. πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”πŸ’”

Sorry guys but I am having a day and I hope whoever reads this isn't and hasnt.